Through Wee Wonders I meet all sorts of mums; ones who had vaginal births, ones who had caesareans; breast feeders; bottle feeders; mixed feeders;APer's; 'Forders' and everything in between; ones who agonise about about every parenting decision and those who just get on with it. This is wonderful! Every day we meet parents who have made different choices to ourselves and perhaps have conflicting styles of parenting but we parents have so much in common: the awe inspiring love we have for our little ones; the milestones; the frustrations, the tiredness and the funny stories to name just a few. Parenting is an emotive minefield; we all struggle sometimes, we feel guilty, we have times of hilarity and of tenderness, we all want to feel that the decisions we have made for our child are the 'best'.
The hype surrounding a news story has bemused me today- the NICE announcement that women in England and Wales will be allowed to choose a Caesarian birth even if there is no medical need. Having read many discussions on t'internet I have been annoyed at the usual 'too posh to push' nonsense being spouted, that women choose caesarian as an easy option with little thought or valid reasoning. Judging, judging...
I must confess that I am emotionally invested in this debate having had 2 caesareans myself - the first an emergency after a 44 hour labour which was horrific with a 5 month recovery period and the second an elective being ten days overdue as I was desperate for a VBAC ( vaginal birth after caesarian) to allay my guilt for being a 'failure' for not being able to give birth like a 'proper woman' and of somehow harming my daughter. Actually the elective was closure for me, yes it wasn't the birth I would have 'chosen' given a magic wand but it was such a contrast to the first: calm, dignified, much quicker recovery, the fantastic consultant also moved my bladder back to its correct position and removed a lot of unsightly scar tissue.
I have spent many wasted moments of feeling guilty over a 'choice' that in reality was outside my control but in saner moments (like now) I know that how my daughters were born matters not one jot; the fact that they know they are loved and are being raised to the best of my ability is what really counts. I am sure that many parents have the same end goal I do- to produce well adjusted adults with strong memories of a happy childhood.
'It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself.' ~Joyce Maynard.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-15840743
