A problem shared...

This was very difficult to write, however if it helps other mums it will be worth it...

Recently I gave birth to my third little daughter, a bundle of cuteness and joy- it wasn't a straight forward birth as an attempted vbac ended in an emergency section- disappointing but necessary. Recovery was slow and painful but I had plenty of emotional and practical support from a lovely husband and lot of practical support with my two older girls from my family - all fine and dandy you would have thought! I was not prepared for what happened next.

The weeks following the birth were a blur of establishing breastfeeding, trying to balance the needs of my older two giving enough attention and refereeing their squabbles and if lucky sleeping when the opportunity arose. I didn't really notice my mood going down, I knew that I didn't feel happy- on paper I should have been on top of the world, a lovely family, a squidgy new baby to nuture, a business that I love, but I just didn't feel like myself- a dark cloud had descended and dimmed the sunshine in my life!

I felt inadequate in all aspects of my life- I was a terrible mother, wife , business partner -they would be better off without me. With my family I was constantly grumpy and had very little patience for sibling squabbles and all the things I would normally take in my stride. Comfort eating was a problem, I was living for the next chocolate fix . To the outside world I was able to appear normal but inside I was constantly anxious with an ongoing feeling of sadness and dread, even a small trip to the shop seemed like a mountain to climb.

I knew I couldn't go on like this, it wasn't fair on anyone, I just wanted it to stop, to be normal again. A trip to the GP was reassuring in that they told me that how I was feeling is so common, officially around 1 in 5 mums get post-natal depression but probably there are far more undiagnosed cases as that statistic doesn't include those mums suffering who do not turn to their doctor for help. It was good to know that I wasn't a freak or a terrible mother but with the help of some anti- depressants, making sure to create some time for myself, improving diet and exercising I would soon be back to my usual self.

The road to recovery will take a while, it is still early days but the world is definitely a brighter place again. Depression is a lonely illness, you can't physically see it but inside you feel broken. My hope is that if more people talk about their illness there will be much more awareness and understanding from society as a whole.

Mental health needs a great deal of attention. It's the final taboo and it needs to be faced and dealt with. Adam Ant

Spring has Sprung again!

With the cold wintery weather hopefully behind us for a while as Spring does its best to takeover, at Wee Wonders we are also going through a period of regeneration and change. 

The recent birth of my little daughter has been a very exciting addition in my personal life, it has been exhausting and challenging adjusting to having three wee wonders while trying to balance everyone's needs and demands.   We have  started to do simple signs with her as although only 10 weeks young she watches  intently and smiles while I sing and sign to her.  I'm looking forward to the signing journey as I know it will be rewarding for the whole family and aid the bonding process.

In terms of business although my mind has been somewhat refocused lately I am incredibly excited by the developments and changes that have already occurred and those which are to come. Nicola Wonder has been an incredible asset to the company and I'm constantly thanking my lucky stars that she joined me on this amazing journey.   Our DVD is launched this week - sweat, blood and tears have gone into its making and we are very pleased and proud of the end result! With other exciting projects in the pipeline Wee Wonders continues to blossom and bloom- watch this space!


“Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning.”
–Benjamin Franklin

A breath of fresh air

Well the summer holidays have now been and gone and the autumnal nights are drawing in once again.  My creativity in how to occupy my two girls over what can only be described as a wet summer is now truly spent and I'm glad that the daily routine governed by school runs will be reinstated.
 
Changes within Wee Wonders are taking place, the catalyst being the expectancy of my third wee wonder in January.  Knowing that I will have to slow down but not wanting to lose momentum I'm thrilled to welcome Nicola into the company.  She'll hopefully have fun learning the ropes and the business will benefit from her skills and enthusiasm.  Two heads are definitely better than one so hopefully together over the next few years Wee Wonders will grow and we'll be able to offer opportunities for other like- minded people to work with  us.

If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living. 
 
Gail Sheehy

The Cára Rose Trust

This evening I had the pleasure of attending the  launch The Cára Rose Trust as a charity in Stormont.  There were quite a few MLA's in attendance so hopefully they will get behind the Trust and help them as much as they can.

The charity was set up by Christopher and Julianne Williams in July 2011 in memory of their little daughter Cára Rose who was born sleeping at 36 weeks gestation.  The charity aims to raise money to provide memorial stones to families who go through stilbirth;  offer support groups to bereaved families;  offer specialist clinics to those who have high risk pregnancies and counseling to those who need it.

There are a number of reasons why stillbirths can occur: infections, umbilical cord problems, lifestyle factors such as smoking but in the majority of cases the cause is unknown. I was shocked to learn that last year there was 152 stillbirths in NI.  It's not subject that is easily talked about in our society but that is exactly why this charity is so needed,  to raise awareness and offer support.  As chairperson Dianne Smith reminded us in her final words 'a child that is stillborn is STILL BORN' and shouldn't be forgotten!


The Trust also launched their website yesterday on what would have been  Cára Rose's 4th birthday, there is lots of information about the charity, how to get support and how to donate. www.thecararosetrust.org.uk

Waxing lyrical about Baby Signing

Baby Signing is something I am very passionate about and I thought it was time I blogged about how signing has helped my family.

While pregnant with my first daughter I spent an inordinate amount of time surfing parenting websites like Babycenter, reading books such as 'What to expect' and basically trying to absorb as much information about something I knew little about- having a baby. Despite all my research I didn't actually come across the concept of Baby Signing until my daughter Eleni was nearly seven months and I thought 'hmmm that looks interesting', decided to investigate it further and never looked back. My husband and I enlisted the help of Deirdre from Sign2music and she gave us a fantastic workshop at home on the basics of Baby Signing and from that moment we were hooked.

We started signing the basics signs like 'milk', 'more' and 'change nappy' with Eleni and were amazed at how much attention she paid- she would watch us intently as we signed and would babble with her hands as she was becoming aware that they were tools of communication. After about a month of us signing with her pretty consistently we got our reward as she signed 'milk' in context. Her next sign was 'light' as she was fascinated with lights and we were always signing it to her wherever we went.

At eight months old Eleni was aware that she could communicate and that by a simple hand movement she got a great response and reaction from her mummy and daddy. Over the next few months her signing vocabulary increased and she was able to tell us when her nappy needed changing and if she wanted 'more' biscuit. Her verbal communication was also developing well as you always clearly say the word you are signing so they get. One of my best memories was Eleni sitting up in her high chair around one years old, her face covered in yoghurt, emphatically signing 'more' while shouting at the top of her voice 'MORE OG, MORE OG' (yoghurt)

Of course some family members thought that it was nonsense and one of my airy fairy faddish ideas but once they saw her in action and saw that her talking had been no way hindered but quite the opposite they were converted; in fact her grandpa was so proud you would have thought he had taught her himself!

With our second daughter Callia we started signing almost from birth and again found it enjoyable and beneficial as it cut out much frustration as she was able to tell us what she wanted without tears. It was also useful in helping the sisters to bond as Eleni would sing and sign to her little sister and took great pleasure whenever she signed back.

I starting to teaching Baby Signing classes to local parents; it's been a wonderful experience and the pleasure of the parents' joy when their baby signs has made it so worthwhile. I am aware that I am biased but I have seen the benefits of signing with my own girls and other signing families' children and would thoroughly recommend it to any parent even thinking about signing with their baby!

Time oh wherefore art thou time?

You will never find time for anything. If you want time you must make it.
Charles Buxton

Time and the lack of it is the curse of mothers everywhere. We spend so much time faffing around looking for shoes, mopping up spills trying to stem the tide of toys and clutter that by the end of the day we may feel exhausted but we haven't actually done anything. Then add in employment or self-employment and it makes for a very tired, frazzled mum if you're not meticulously organised with your time.

Excellent time-management skills have to be the key to juggling home and work but how do you acquire this magical concept? I write lists, then a list of lists but I still seem to be treading water when I should have completed three lengths of the pool.

Working mainly at home is especially difficult as you cannot just leave the dirty dishes or the unmade beds behind a locked door as you head off for the day but they are staring at you, mocking you until you feel compelled to tidy up before you get really annoyed. Then there's other deadly tools of procrastination readily available- Facebook, television, Mumsnet to name but a few. If you have a little one still at home it's nigh on impossible to get anything done during their waking hours without the help of Cbeebies, which in turn induces feelings of guilt.

So what is the answer? Well to be honest I don't know but I have written another list to implement and to help me organize my time and myself more efficiently.

1. Set a specific amount of time to do social media, answering emails for business and stick to it.
2. Keep on top of housework by doing dishes straight after dinner; making sure toys go way before bedtime so it doesn't become overwhelming; keeping clutter to a minimum; not letting the washing build up...etc
3. Deal with bills/paperwork as soon as it arrives and have a proper/storage/filing system.
4. Make sure I spend a couple of hours quality time everyday with the kids where I'm not multi-tasking with business, housework, dinner but focused fully on them.

That's enough to be getting on with but any other suggestions will be gratefully received!

“A wise person does at once, what a fool does at last. Both do the same thing; only at different times.” – Baltasar Gracian

January Blues

Christmas has been and gone in a blur of tinsel, a flash of red while a faint jingle and ho ho ho echoes down the hall. This is the first Christmas that both my Wee Wonders have fully understood the magic of Christmas and it was lovely although I am still at odds with Granny's opinion that 'it's Christmas' so therefore perfectly acceptable for a two year old to consume nearly a whole selection box in one sitting half an hour before bed time!

Roll on to the New Year and as the last firework sprays the final shower of light thoughts turn to the dreaded words- tax return. Once again I curse myself for not being organised or proactive enough to get it over with in April, next year, I promise myself, it will be different, I will hire an accountant!

January is proving to be a very busy month with marketing for new classes starting in three locations, party bookings coming in, getting the books sorted, lesson plans, equipment ordering, social media... More hours in the day are definitely needed! I have decided that I have a choice- I can either become overwhelmed and procrastinate or I can just get on with it, as Theodore Roosevelt said 'With self-discipline most anything is possible.' Although I have definitively chosen the second option I'll still take a few minutes now and again to look up exotic holiday destinations- a girl can dream in January can't she?