Being a new parent is daunting- an understatement. From the moment we find out we are pregnant (and sometimes before) the enormity of what lies ahead threatens to overwhelm us. If we can’t cope with a bit of morning sickness now how will we ever survive no sleep for the next eighteen years or so? Pregnancy is the easy bit so the hordes of well wishers tell us; enjoy your lie-ins now as you’ll never have one again.
As soon as you announce the happy news to family, friends and anyone else that will care to listen, you are leaving yourself open to the curse of the modern parent- advice… With the first child you are a novice and you actively seek advice from everyone from cures for morning sickness to the best position to labour in. You find that people seem to share your excitement and will eagerly tell you the best way to do things (or how they did it). You even seek out advice from outside sources such as books and the internet, eagerly joining forums and birth clubs so you can compare your pregnancy with other expectant mums. After a while you realise that you are being given conflicting advice at every turn and end up even more confused and disorientated than when you started.
When the little bundle of joy arrives you have a myriad of emotions that threaten to engulf you. This tiny human is utterly dependent on you to feed, give warmth and comfort to and so feeling overwhelmed you still seek advice: the best way to settle baby, the best way to latch baby onto breast, you rely on midwives, visiting family members, other mums on the ward to tell you how it should be done and you do it.
However after the first hazy days have passed in a blur and life becomes more normal again you start figure out what works for you and your baby and become more confident in your inherent parenting abilities. The advice becomes less welcome and more irritating. Sometimes very irritating!
So what do you do when you realise that actually you’re getting the hang of this parenting malarkey and you really don’t want to dip your baby’s dummy in whiskey/ leave them to cry/ wrap them in 20 layers in July?? You have to quickly develop the hide of a rhino and depending on your level of assertiveness either hide your annoyance when unwanted advice is offered while smiling, nodding and serenely ignoring or politely but firmly tell the advisor to butt out and mind their own business! By the time you get to baby two or three you'll no longer be on the receiving end of unwanted advice but inevitably you'll catch yourself sagely warning excited first time mums- to- be to enjoy their lie ins.....
Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories. ~John Wilmot
